As the saying goes: It takes two to tango. The same goes for co-founder relationships. 

Having a co-founder is often compared to a marriage. Strange right? Well, not quite. 

You embark on a commitment to partner with each other, you jointly invest in an asset, you construct and nurture a team that you are both accountable for, and you navigate the ups and downs of the journey, or rather “for better or for worse”.

Co-founder relationships can make or break a company. Having a Co-Founder might be the best thing to happen to some; for others it might be a source of anxiety and stress; but to all it is the ultimate test of patience, communication and trust, allowing for the smooth and successful operation of a company.

For those seeking investment, investors will be paying utmost attention to your dynamic and the strength and compatibility of your partnership. Given “the success of your relationship is directly correlated to the success of your business”, showcasing a unified and healthy relationship is critical.

Navigating the intensity of starting a venture will bring highs and lows and enduring this process can either be helped or hindered by a co-founder depending on your relationship. At the end of the day, co-founder relationships are the most intimate relationships in business, and what does this mean?

Well, just like a marriage, there needs to be:

1. Healthy communication

2. Transparency and alignment 

3. Deliberate and mindful efforts to nurture the relationship

These are just a few examples of what needs to be in place. I’m sure many more will come to your mind as you read this.

So let’s dive into:

• Elements needed for a healthy Co-Founder Relationship 

• Elements needed for maintaining a sustainable Co-Founder relationship 

  
  

The insights shared next are just some points raised from founding teams we have dived into this topic with. You may have some that you believe should absolutely belong on this list, or some that are more unique to you and your partnership. 

Elements needed for a healthy Co-Founder Relationship

Before understanding your partner, the first step is to understand yourself. 

How are you as a founder? What are your ideal conditions? What are your values and personal and professional goals? What are your strengths and limitations? What does a partnership entail to you? - you need to have done the work with yourself first in order to set out on level footing and know what you are bringing to the table, but also to know what you are looking for in a co-founder.

1. Trust and Respect 

Fundamental components for any relationship, let alone one where you are working together in such close proximity, mutual trust and respect are two things that should absolutely not go amiss. 

Respecting your co-founder means having the confidence to challenge and be challenged by them trusting their judgement, character, and abilities and giving each other space to operate. 

It is about listening to them even when you disagree with them. 

Developing these qualities may take time and requires a deliberate and mindful effort, but they are two essential components for cultivating and sustaining a strong partnership when riding the startup roller-coaster. 

2. Transparent Communication

Communication is key. It is perhaps THE key, for any relationship. 

You need to communicate to stay in alignment, to work through tough decisions, to ideate and to innovate.

Of course there will be difficult moments to navigate while working together. As such, it’s imperative to establish norms of open communication and transparency from the outset in a way that empowers each of you to voice and share concerns rather than allowing the build up of negative sentiment.

3. Alignment of Vision 

Your mission, vision, and purpose need to align before there is conversation about proceeding with building a company. 

This is the backbone of your company; if the co-founders’ visions do not align, then there is no company. 

Your vision and mission needs to go beyond what the company is about and dig into the fundamentals of who you are as people, what you want to achieve through your company on a grander scale. 

4. Clear Roles

While it might be exciting to dip your toes into every aspect of your company, it is important for the co-founders to have clear roles within the company. 

Of course they should consult each other about major decisions and keep each other up to date, but at the same time the co-founders cannot micromanage each other. 

This is for the benefit of your team as well, as there are clearer roles and responsibilities and the team knows who to turn to for different projects/ queries. 

At the same time this eliminates miscommunication and misunderstandings between the co-founders as they do not meddle in each other’s tasks while it allows for smoother operations within the company. 

Elements needed for maintaining a sustainable Co-Founder relationship 

In her book, “How to Set Up a Healthy Co-Founder Relationship”, Esther Perel, urges co-founders to “go to an exhibit, a lecture, a birthday party — any setting where you can put them in better context” and move beyond the traditional meetings or coffee dates with fellow co-founders.  

It is important to broaden your co-founder relationship beyond that of just colleagues and understand them better as people. 

People change with time and having a business together means growing alongside your company, hence it is perfectly normal for your co-founder relationship to go through phases. 

While you might have struck a balance when first starting out with your partner, it is important to maintain a healthy co-founder relationship.

It is not a once off deal I’m afraid. 

It takes time and energy from both. 

1. Establish rituals and regular catch-ups

This is critical in ensuring that you are both still on the same page, that you each know what the other has been occupied with, the progress of the company and of the team. It also allows you to maintain a bond with your co-founder and strengthen your communication channels.

2. Be a good listener

As stated above, respect is of utmost importance. 

It is not only necessary as a starting block, but rather it is a fundamental pillar in ensuring that you have a healthy co-founder relationship. Listen to your co-founder. Don’t just hear what they are saying, but truly listen to the concerns they bring to the table and tackle them together. 

3. Attend coaching or therapy sessions together

Seeking outside help can seem daunting. As if admitting there is a weakness in your company and in your co-founder relationship. 

This might put off a lot of founders, but sometimes it is helpful to have a third person looking at the relationship and partnership from the outside in who will perhaps be able to supply insightful comments and help the co-founders voice and understand their feelings and potential frustrations in a more structured manner.

Co-founder relationships are often compared to being married, yes. But it is more than that. 

When you have a co-founder, it is not simply a marriage you are entering, but a co-parenting partnership. 

You are raising a child together - you company - over which you have to agree on the parenting styles and all the resources dedicated towards it. 

It is not something to be taken lightly, but at least you won't have to do it alone. 

Written by: Eleni Socratous, Marketing and Community Associate